It wasn’t until recently that I was able to answer the question, “ Am I a homemaker? ” And the answer to that question, for me, is yes!
It wasn’t the fact that I became a stay at home mom that solidified the fact that I was actually a homemaker.
Homemaking in 2018 is in no way defined as what it was previously. It is something that a lot of us are, but possibly don’t even realize it at the moment.
Let me clear this up for you….
I proudly declare that I am a homemaker.
I am making this thing not only go but stay on track.
I remember when my husband and I first got together. Although I had been “head of household”, as defined by tax purposes, in no way was I a homemaker.
I mean I paid bills and cooked food every day (yes even in my twenties), but I was literally just making it. And not with much effort or thought put into it either.
When we got together, it was the first time in my life that I had the ability to not only afford what I needed but also some of what I wanted.
He was the more financially responsible between the two of us. And probably overall, seeing as how he had no kids and had already obtained his college degree. He was working a job in his field and he was willing to take care of me and my child.
I was thankful to have a man that was willing to provide for us, but my one request was that he let me pay the bills. With his money. Lol.
Up until that moment I had been robbing from the needs pot to put in the wants pot and I was ready to do better.
So I think somewhere around that time is when I became a homemaker.
You probably all “Kenya what you mean by that?”
So let’s talk about what a homemaker is and is not.
What a Homemaker Is Not
This is NOT what it takes to be a homemaker
- Someone who is serving everyone else at their own expense
- Someone who cooks, cleans, and gets the kids “presentable” for daddy to come home
- Someone who doesn’t work outside of the home
What Is a Homemaker?
How to answer “ Am I A Homemaker? ” in 2018
- Someone who is managing a family budget in order to effectively run a household the best way they can
- Someone who plans for and feeds the family. Whether cooked in the home or purchased.
- Someone who tends to the maintenance of the home. Cleaning can be done for self or outsourced.
So let's talk about this…
You see these interwebs will have you believing that your home has to be spotless at all times, with the fresh smell of lavender, and a vase filled with fresh flowers on the table.
That you have to not only meal plan weekly and buy groceries, but then cook said groceries every single day; preferably made hot and ready for when your man gets home. And that your kids should be clean, well behaved, smart as a damn encyclopedia (remember those?), and always be picture perfect for all your social posts on Facebook and Instagram.
Girl! let me be the first to tell you, THAT. IS. A. LIE! Several lies and those that will try to have you believing this craziness needs to have several seats. (That means go away)
The reality is no one's homemaking is gonna look the same. But the real way to determine if you are a homemaker is this.
DO YOU TAKE CARE OF HOME TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY?
Whether you work inside the home, outside the home, clean daily, weekly or even outsource. Are you doing your best to make that thang run as smoothly as you know how?
If you answered yes to most or even some of that, you are out here homemaking girl. Do ya thang and don’t let nobody tell you different. Mmmkay?
See my homemaking includes cooking, from scratch when I can, and homemade at other times (and yes there is a difference). I buy food out at least once a week, and every meal doesn’t have veggies (although most do). I be over here, building stuff and updating my house, cause that makes me happy. Basically, I do my best.
I clean when I get around to it, but my house isn’t nasty by far. Get ready and clutch ya pearls, cause I don’t do laundry. And I enlist help from other people in the house. Cause shoot, we all in this together.
And that my friends is my superpower – the ability to manage it, rather than do it all, to the best of my ability. And I’m over here giving myself mad grace when occasionally there is a fire.
Cause ish happens. *shrugs*