There is no way I could have ever been prepared for having a daughter. But lord knows she changed me. And for the better.
Looking back at 21 I didn’t realize just how young, naive and inexperienced at life I really was. The world was still painted with the colors of the rainbow and the skies were always blue.
I had all the answers and was pretty much untouchable.
What I thought was hard times and unhappiness, now that I have lived a little more, I realize was merely being a spoiled brat and somewhat lost and misguided young girl.
I got pregnant at 21, which happened in what felt like the hardest time of my life. Living a little has since shown me that those years are the ones I long to have back.
But hard at that time, I was sitting out of college for a semester trying to figure out how I was going to continue to fund my education, I had just got a job making almost half of what I had made at my previous job that I got let go from, I was living in a situation I didn’t want to be in after the eviction that followed being let go from said job, and I was considering working in an environment on the side to supplement that lost income that I was used to having, that probably would have eaten me alive.
Then I found out I was pregnant. By someone who I never intended to be permanently attached to. I was just having some fun.
While I knew I was having a baby by someone I had no business being involved with, deep inside I knew she was given to me for a reason greater than my current situation.
My daughter got me back on track and essentially saved my future and possibly my life.
In all my struggles of parenting her, and there are plenty of them, seeming long growing exponentially with every birthday. I look at her sometimes and I remember how I felt when I saw her sweet little baby face and how I knew, even then, why she came into my life when she did.
She gave me strength and courage to be better, to do better, and to seek out better for both of us.
Even when I wasn’t motivated enough to do right for me, I HAD to do right for and by her.
She truly is a lifesaver…..
In my daughter's eyes,
I am a hero.
I am strong and wise.
I know no fear.
The truth is plain to see.
She was sent to rescue me.
I see who I want to be.
In my daughter's eyes.
If you are finding struggles in parenting, especially as a single parent, think about the reason you were blessed with the child or children that you have….
Now that does not diminish those struggles I mentioned. Lord knows I STILL HAVE THEM! As she entered being a tween and these pre-teen years, trying to co-parent with someone who doesn’t understand the concept, and working through my own parent issues – the ones I knew I had and some I didn’t, I all but lost my mind.
But I have to remind myself of why God saw fit for me to raise her and why she was sent to me, when she was sent to me, even if I don’t understand why he used the vehicle that he used to get her here.
I know that my daughter saved my life. While that may not be her sole purpose that she was put here on this earth for, I know it plays a large role in the timing she arrived.
I loved reading this father's reflection of how being a dad of daughter's changed him. But men are not the only ones changed forever by welcoming a beautiful little girl into the world.
4 Ways Having A Daughter Changed Me
Prior to having my daughter, I experienced a lot of times that I didn’t stand up for myself and looked back wishing I had. But after she came, I wanted her to see a mom who was strong. Stood for something. And who didn’t let the world knock her down and keep her down.
I started standing up for myself and her to defend my position or opinion.
Even when I wanted to quit, I couldn’t. Having those eyes on me watching every move I made held me accountable to do and be more.
Had it not been for my daughter, I doubt very seriously I would have finished my undergraduate studies. Let alone have a graduate degree.
School was kicking my butt. AndIi was ready to throw in the towel. But after she came I re-enrolled. Got amazing grades. And finished! She was there to see me walk the stage. Probably one of my proudest moments.
She matured my way of thinking. My decisions were no longer twenty something irresponsible reckless moves. I made most of my decisions based on the fact that i was her mother and she needed me.
I definitely grew up when she got here.
I became very choosy about who i allowed to have my time. And even the. Everyone was not allowed to be around her.
Even in my friendships, there was a shift because of the previously listed changes. But also because some people i hung around just weren’t good influences.
Having a daughter is hard.
In a world laced with predators at every turn, access to harmful things that appear harmless and the crazy news headlines you read daily.
These are just words of encouragement. Words that I wish someone would have said to me. I am coming to realize them for myself:
Stay encouraged, you are not alone in your struggles. If you need help, look for it, go after it, and don’t stop until you find just what you need. Everyone has their own struggles with parenting, regardless of what their Facebook, Instagram and twitter timelines would lead you to believe. Parenting is HARD and the fact that your creator saw fit for you to do it means you are capable. Just fight your way through it.
When I want to give up, I remember that she saved me. And me being her mother can and will save her from herself.